griseous

One of my closest, dearest friends of the past ten years just left Seattle to go back to New York. I feel the slight edge of loneliness trying to find its place in me, but she revived my attitude in such a positive fashion, I have succeeded in resisting the urge to be melancholy! I didn't even know I was capable of ignoring an opportunity to wallow. I am giving myself a big hug. MOTIVATION!! To draw, to move onward and to realize that I do not want to stay in Seattle. I do not want to work these shitty jobs, only looking forward to the beer I waste myself on afterwords.. I need the past two years of accidental laziness to end!! Here is my declaration post, I will only do what is necessary for me to calm down and live these days as I want, without feeling the nausea in my stomach, worrying about the future I carry around on my shoulders. FUCK THE FUTURE. FUCK ALL THAT SHIT, I'M TAKING MYSELF AND I'M GETTIN' OUTTA HERE!!!

Apologies. I feel crazies. I only slept three hours, not counting the hour of sleep Nichki and I got in Kellyn's car outside of the starbucks in Tukwila, waiting for her flight. We both curled up like unborn babes in the front seats. She had a scarf wrapped around her face to block the sun, I pulled my black cap down over my eyes. In retrospect, we looked kinda kidnapped. Whatever the case may be, not much or comfortable sleep was had by any.

I am sad, but only because I love someone, so it's a good thing.